there is this calmness within me that scares me. there are many sort of calmness, and tranquility, the one full of content, and joy, where you want to sit by the balcony and watch the sunset with a glass of merlot and cigarette. i crave that sort of calmness. my calm, is the dangerous kind...its the kind that warns me of stormy waters right ahead. it should come with a ahoy! ahoy! in manner of Moby Dick.
speaking of, i want the calmness that Ishmael talks about when he is at sea, the one that will make me write a book that starts with : my name is Ishmael.
and centuries later, it is the epitome of all that is modern art, a satire from a tale about the search of calmness.
in the story; i am talking about Moby Dick, if its not yet clear, and if you have not read this book, that's okay, sad, but okay. see...this calmness i mention, i cannot even be irked that you have not experienced a great piece of literature. isn't it dangerous? can you taste the knife i will probably hold to your throat when we next meet? i can. the taste of blade....is peaceful. as i was saying, in the book, Ishmael goes to sea when his emotions are twirly, not the randy kind of twirly, but yea, sorta. his going to sea is similar to most of you punching a wall, and breaking a bathroom mirror. he goes in search of calmness, but does not find it there...he meets of course, Moby Dick. now go read it. be cultured you heathen.
i said, for those who are on my facebook. that this year, i will take no bullshit. and hence the calmness.
i wish i could express the danger that is this calm. let me see,
its when i text my boss and instead of a straight forward yes or no reply, he calls and talks for two minutes about shit. its all good.
its when i walk into the office with a serrated knife and stab him repeatedly, with a serene smile on my face, while inside, i am on a beautiful ship having an iced coffee, after i steal the knife from the serial killer. so peaceful.
its when my brothers make my mom cry, and its good.
its when i slash them as they brush their teeth, with a soft laugh, while singing am so happy and lovely and gay softly.
but one thing i cannot be calm about is crap friendship. and this post is becoming longer than i intended it to be, talking about this calmness, that might make me a celebrity
a girl skins her boss with a serrated knife in Mombasa, and she says....its all good. namaste.
again, i digress
i said it, if you cannot be the best friend to me, kindly walk out, and if i cannot be the best friend you need, in kind, i shall walk out.
we have acquaintances, colleagues, friends and best friends.
when push comes to shove, my best friends will always win out...even over my family. because they become my family.
Moby Dick appears in form of a tiff that may not end well between two of the closest people to me. and the calmness in me might lead me and a serrated knife, onto the whale's back. and whilst singing a soft lullaby, put it to sleep.
ta-ta darlings
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