I can't seem to stop floating around on this cloud. Wherever it goes, I go with it. Only I wish it was sunny enough for it to disappear. Land on the ground, on my own feet and look up at the skies and it won't matter if the sky is such a colour that it would blind me. That kind of blue that reminds you of magnolias and the smell of honeysuckle.
But this cloud takes me further and further away from what I know and what I should remember. It takes me to sites I should be awed to see, but instead it scares me, and it leaves me grasping at those gossamer strands, not being really able to hang on to anything because its only wisps and smoke.
This cloud floats over to the Tibetian plateau, and its just miles and miles of pure white. It stops and I cannot tell from which side we flew in, I cannot tell how far left, or right, north or left I am from home. I want to cry when I realise I can't tell where home is. I don't think, in my years of wandering I have ever felt so lost. Here I am, taking in the most pure of all sites, with the cold seeping into my skin, into my bones and it is not home I miss, because I don't know what that word means anymore. They (the whispers of the wind) tell me that home is where your heart is. But in this cold and lonesome place, I can't quite seem to remember where that is either.
I'm crying now, but you wouldn't be able to tell because the tears freeze on my chaffed cheeks. I feel them though, solidifying, laying claim, and then cracking ever so lightly.
I wonder why the cloud brought me here today. To remind me just how lonesome I am? I doubt it, it knows even when its floating over a warm sea and I can dip my toes into the deeper blue pond, unlike the blue I crave, that I am always alone.
So why?
So I sit here, and try to conjure images that would warm me.
The smell of my mothers perfume as she leans over me to look at the scrapes on my knees only makes me sob now. So I sob, because I can do nothing else.
The sound of early morning traffic only makes me panic now, because I know as I am floating somewhere, the world is passing me by, and no..no..I can't.
The sound that fills the air is my sobs now. and it echoes even though it shouldn't and as if it reads my mind, a gust of wind blows and takes away the sound of it. I am glad. It is ever so pitiful and resonates with my anguish even more. So I sob, until I cannot breathe anymore. I sob until my lungs fight over each other for air. And the cloud grows warm and I cannot help crying some more because I know it is merciful.
The cloud grows warmer and warmer still until it burns. and suddenly I am on my feet in a field thick with the smell of jasmines and the sun on my face.
That is what mercy smells like.
Thursday, 25 April 2013
These Clouds and Those Castles
Wednesday, 17 April 2013
Princess Rants.
Bitches,
So I left the internet because you all annoyed me. yes. i left blogger for longer because my anger and resentment towards you all blocked my brain. fuck you.
I came back on twitter and reclaimed my throne. I'm a princess now, deal with it.
This is the biggest rant i may ever make online, and I can rant. and this will be my last non-narrative post on this blog. follow Invasion of Art and Confuzzled Lawyer.
Here is a list of things that irk me. not necessarily in that order.
1- ONLINE CRUSADERS
So facebook has done the society disfavor by allowing people to post more than one five hundred and something words as status update. worst still, it allows people to SHARE these status.
Cue in people who have not discovered blogs, or the 'Notes' bar on their page, and decide to write these long ass posts filled with self righteous posts about their thoughts on particular leaders, artists, and the society in general. NO. just no! this princess will unfriend, and block any twat who dares 'share' this 'wisdom' on my page. like i say, I cannot tell you what to post on your facebook/twitter (but Daddy is working on getting me those rights) but I can control what i want to read on MY homepage.
One particular peasant who shot to fame with a piece on an irrelevant little man has even started a SOCIETY OF SMALL MINDED LITTLE CUNTS. they even have a name for themselves, if it wasn't for this human rights crap, i would have you all lynched.
Riddle me this, who died and made you the face/voice of moral code??
2- TWITTER FOLLOWERS
Now y'all know this princess loves her twitter. BUT WHY WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME, NOT TWEET ME, and then unacatch feelings juu I haven't followed you back???
OOOR
You follow, me, I follow you, you unfollow me, I unfollow you, you follow me, i follow you, you unfollow me, and i block your leper ass??? and then you inbox me, some crap??
hoooneeeeyyy aint nobody got time for dat
3- INBOX ME PLEASE OMG
I have one facebook rule, i will like your status, LOL at all the relevant places, and share silly things you share. THAT IS NOT AN INVITE TO INBOX ME. sometimes, i feel nice enough to reply to your inboxes, because well, i like community services. WE ARE NOT BFFS. do not comment on my status like you know what my deal is. i will cut you. or blog about you.
4-NEON TREES AND BOOTS
I love this band, Neon Trees, I like Neon Colours, I do not like random bitches acting like they are all fashionistas because they wear neon orange pants and a gold top. I am very passionate about fashion, i believe in expressions of ones self BUT there is nothing as horrible as a trend that is atleast five DECADES out of time. and then, you post instagram pictures acting like you are model, self esteem is good honey, but no.
5-MCDONALD HOES
yeah, this is long, i have received a couple of messages over my blog posts, and tweets. someone said i glamourised eating disorders. and i hate fat people.
here is what i have to say to that
i will not justify my posts, but not once have i told anyone to starve. i just tell people to drop the donut and give me twenty. i believe I create awareness for something that is very rampant in our society, without naming names, and for those people who came forward with their stories, I am glad you felt like you were not alone.
I don't hate fat people, how can I? its not like am skinny, but i do have a problem with people who piss and moan about their weight and do nothing about it. I love personalities, weight is never an issue for me as far as the people in my life are concerned. Own your curves, love yourself, blah blah blah.
people make fun of skinny people all the time. Our society is all about 'thick women' 'thick curves' 'thick arteries' whats wrong about being all about 'skinny margaritas' 'skinny dipping' and soups over KFC????
NO APOLOGIES.
If you love yourself, you wouldn't be in a tiff over my posts. maybe you should look deep deep deep deep (over the layers of extra fat padding) deep deep into yourself and ask yourself why you are bothered.
i think she is gorgeous.
6- TRANNIES, BLONDIES AND THE LIKES.
this bit is for all the wannabe chips funga hanging off the Lady.acting like you and my cupcake are bffs,
posting on her TL, calling her pet names and making innuendos....the person below is you
and this is her yes, a tad bit jealous because there is a tranny with a killer bod all over her business, but only because her body doesn't match her face. i pray to the god every day that you wake up fat. no apologies.
cupcake can hold her own, and yes, we are not a public couple, we don't make eyes at each other online, and yes, y'all know she's seeing someone, so sit down. don't try to make friends with me. I don't like you. simple as.
ME ME ITS ALL ABOUT ME
I'm obnoxious, I'm loud, I'm condescending, although I don't agree with that, I'm just smarter than you and you can't take it.
I know they say imitation is the best form of flattery, but omg, no. do not copy everything I do.
i have a couple of friends I adore, for who they are, they are gorgeous and funny, but please please please, this is not Mean Girls, I won't hate you for not wearing Pink on Wednesday or for only wearing sweats cause your size two's don't fit. i am mean enough to ask you though...
because it is unflattering that you dye your hair cause I do, or roll your eyes just how I do it, or steal my tweets, and posts, and OMG use my words..like soooo many of you just steal my quotes and it actually breaks my heart because i THOUGHT of them.
I accept adoration as the only form of flattery.
bye peasants
So I left the internet because you all annoyed me. yes. i left blogger for longer because my anger and resentment towards you all blocked my brain. fuck you.
I came back on twitter and reclaimed my throne. I'm a princess now, deal with it.
This is the biggest rant i may ever make online, and I can rant. and this will be my last non-narrative post on this blog. follow Invasion of Art and Confuzzled Lawyer.
Here is a list of things that irk me. not necessarily in that order.
1- ONLINE CRUSADERS
So facebook has done the society disfavor by allowing people to post more than one five hundred and something words as status update. worst still, it allows people to SHARE these status.
Cue in people who have not discovered blogs, or the 'Notes' bar on their page, and decide to write these long ass posts filled with self righteous posts about their thoughts on particular leaders, artists, and the society in general. NO. just no! this princess will unfriend, and block any twat who dares 'share' this 'wisdom' on my page. like i say, I cannot tell you what to post on your facebook/twitter (but Daddy is working on getting me those rights) but I can control what i want to read on MY homepage.
One particular peasant who shot to fame with a piece on an irrelevant little man has even started a SOCIETY OF SMALL MINDED LITTLE CUNTS. they even have a name for themselves, if it wasn't for this human rights crap, i would have you all lynched.
Riddle me this, who died and made you the face/voice of moral code??
2- TWITTER FOLLOWERS
Now y'all know this princess loves her twitter. BUT WHY WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME, NOT TWEET ME, and then unacatch feelings juu I haven't followed you back???
OOOR
You follow, me, I follow you, you unfollow me, I unfollow you, you follow me, i follow you, you unfollow me, and i block your leper ass??? and then you inbox me, some crap??
hoooneeeeyyy aint nobody got time for dat
3- INBOX ME PLEASE OMG
I have one facebook rule, i will like your status, LOL at all the relevant places, and share silly things you share. THAT IS NOT AN INVITE TO INBOX ME. sometimes, i feel nice enough to reply to your inboxes, because well, i like community services. WE ARE NOT BFFS. do not comment on my status like you know what my deal is. i will cut you. or blog about you.
4-NEON TREES AND BOOTS
I love this band, Neon Trees, I like Neon Colours, I do not like random bitches acting like they are all fashionistas because they wear neon orange pants and a gold top. I am very passionate about fashion, i believe in expressions of ones self BUT there is nothing as horrible as a trend that is atleast five DECADES out of time. and then, you post instagram pictures acting like you are model, self esteem is good honey, but no.
5-MCDONALD HOES
yeah, this is long, i have received a couple of messages over my blog posts, and tweets. someone said i glamourised eating disorders. and i hate fat people.
here is what i have to say to that
i will not justify my posts, but not once have i told anyone to starve. i just tell people to drop the donut and give me twenty. i believe I create awareness for something that is very rampant in our society, without naming names, and for those people who came forward with their stories, I am glad you felt like you were not alone.
I don't hate fat people, how can I? its not like am skinny, but i do have a problem with people who piss and moan about their weight and do nothing about it. I love personalities, weight is never an issue for me as far as the people in my life are concerned. Own your curves, love yourself, blah blah blah.
people make fun of skinny people all the time. Our society is all about 'thick women' 'thick curves' 'thick arteries' whats wrong about being all about 'skinny margaritas' 'skinny dipping' and soups over KFC????
NO APOLOGIES.
If you love yourself, you wouldn't be in a tiff over my posts. maybe you should look deep deep deep deep (over the layers of extra fat padding) deep deep into yourself and ask yourself why you are bothered.
i think she is gorgeous.
6- TRANNIES, BLONDIES AND THE LIKES.
this bit is for all the wannabe chips funga hanging off the Lady.acting like you and my cupcake are bffs,
posting on her TL, calling her pet names and making innuendos....the person below is you
and this is her yes, a tad bit jealous because there is a tranny with a killer bod all over her business, but only because her body doesn't match her face. i pray to the god every day that you wake up fat. no apologies.
cupcake can hold her own, and yes, we are not a public couple, we don't make eyes at each other online, and yes, y'all know she's seeing someone, so sit down. don't try to make friends with me. I don't like you. simple as.
ME ME ITS ALL ABOUT ME
I'm obnoxious, I'm loud, I'm condescending, although I don't agree with that, I'm just smarter than you and you can't take it.
I know they say imitation is the best form of flattery, but omg, no. do not copy everything I do.
i have a couple of friends I adore, for who they are, they are gorgeous and funny, but please please please, this is not Mean Girls, I won't hate you for not wearing Pink on Wednesday or for only wearing sweats cause your size two's don't fit. i am mean enough to ask you though...
because it is unflattering that you dye your hair cause I do, or roll your eyes just how I do it, or steal my tweets, and posts, and OMG use my words..like soooo many of you just steal my quotes and it actually breaks my heart because i THOUGHT of them.
I accept adoration as the only form of flattery.
bye peasants
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